Do you get upset if someone sits in your chair? Rites and rituals is an interesting one. On the surface, we might think of attending church as fitting this subject. Do you burn incense to achieve some purpose? What about insisting that something always be done in the same way? But the issue isn’t the rites or rituals that we practice – it’s our relationship to them. Notice on the fetter list on the previous page, it says “attachment to rites and rituals“ If you are attached to them, invested in them, then you are most likely to be practicing them to avoid some potential catastrophe. It’s easy to see if you are identified with one. DON’T DO IT. ..and see what happens. If, when you deny yourself the sequence of action that you would normally do, if you feel uncomfortable, then you have been presented with an opportunity.
The following (in white) is with grateful acknowledgement to Pernille Damore
https://www.youtube.com/@TheAwakeningCurriculum
The 3rd Fetter is the last part of the Foundational Triangle of Identification.
The 1st Fetter identifies with thought and body.
The 2nd Fetter identifies with feelings and emotions.
The 3rd Fetter is the fetter where you become aware of The Gap, and all the things that you do to support not feel the discomfort of emotions in Fetter 2, and to maintain roles, personal labels, and ways that we define ourselves that reinforce Fetter 1.
With Fetter 3, (as well as subsequent Fetters) you discover an uncomfortable feeling and learn to stay with it, not doing anything, not attempting to solve it, not intellectualizing it, or wanting for it to be different.
Just find quiet and silence, and sit with it.
This is also the Fetter of diversions.
This Fetter is about what you DO to get away from a feeling or an emotion.
You will never find the gap if you are busy trying to solve something. The longer you stay with an uncomfortable feeling, the more clear the delusion will become.
Where the 1st Fetter was about discovering the identification, and the 2nd Fetter was about discovering the feeling connected to the identification, the 3rd Fetter is about discovering the diversions we create in order to keep from feeling that feeling.
But at the same time, the 3rd Fetter also has its own type of identification tied into it.
All routines in our lives that we maintain and perform “with the purpose” of improving our identification, originate in the identification with feelings and emotions (2nd Fetter), and are reinforced by the identification with thought (1st Fetter).
Most of this happens subconsciously.
The 3rd Fetter therefore makes the distinguishing of the identification very complicated, since all 3 Fetters become interwoven, and more difficult to see through, realise, and understand.
To move forward with the Fetters from here you need to be very clear that:
Thoughts are not truth:
Thoughts are just another sensory experience with a completely random pattern, and are no different than the sense of seeing, hearing, smelling, tasting and touching. Identification with thoughts creates a delusion where “something” can be added to, or subtracted from, what is, in order to improve life, since all thoughts are “about” something.
Identification is delusional:
Feelings and emotions are not truth. They are just sensations appearing alongside of an apparently related thought. By detaching the direct experience from the content of the thought, you are placing yourself in a space of observation to notice what is really going on. Reality cannot be any different than it is, and does not need to be any different than it is.
Be aware of The Starting Point:
Conditioning and distress become our starting point for all interactions, both internal and external, expressed with the emotional indicators of fear, anger, guilt and shame. Repressed trauma shapes a personality, and creates a toxic starting point. Since trauma can only exist with an identification, trauma does not need to be solved. Trauma does however need space, compassion, love and unconditional acceptance, and will dissolve if it is allowed to.
Be aware of The Bubble of Reality: No one can trigger or activate anything in you. You are the only one identifying, activating thoughts, merging them with past experiences, and projecting them into something happening in the now, and feeling that arising as “something”. (cf. “Something out of nothing” – 7th fetter)
Rigid routines are maintaining identification: Any action done with a purpose, any preference seemingly more desirable, and any attachment to planning ahead of time, are diversions or distractions from direct experience, and are used to ease an uncomfortable insight. Until the first 3 Fetters have been seen through, the identification (and trauma) will be maintained, and repeated subconsciously.
As long as there is identification, there will be a feeling of something needing to either improve or diminish due to the “I am not, I should be” mindset.
Every daily routine is a manifestation of our mindset and our Ego identification.
To discover this, take a minute and look into your morning routine.
Do you see how much identification is taking place?
Do you see how the underlying foundational belief is reflected into every action you take?
Every decision you make?
Every habit you have?
If you remove the identification, all habitual actions are deflated and seem pointless.
That is the extent of the identification taking place!
For most of us, when we engage in activities such as eating, fasting, exercising, or meditating, we often do it with a goal in mind.
We eat to be full, or we eat to lose weight.
We exercise to lose weight, or we exercise to avoid diseases in the future.
We meditate to achieve calm and become awake.
So with our daily routines we often have a very particular goal in mind, and a very clear expectation of a certain outcome.
All of that falls apart when we no longer identify with thought, feelings and emotions.
When there no longer is any connection between thoughts, feelings and emotions to anything.
They just arise.
As long as we identify, we remove ourselves from the present moment, and place our focus on an assumed reward in the future.
The approach of striving towards an assumed expectation, or a hypothetical goal, lacks the natural spontaneity, and more often than not, leads to disappointment and discontentment.
Since the Ego is always dissatisfied with an outcome, no matter the outcome, the cycle of chasing new objectives and desires is maintained, as is the delusion of the identification.
We call the rigid routines harmful since they perpetuate the illusion of the “I am not, I should be” mentality.
They fuel and maintain the Ego’s dissatisfaction and constant craving for improvement, so further identification is inevitable.
In order to move on with the FetterWork, we need to disidentify and realise that there is no thought, feeling, or emotion that is truth, and therefore there is nothing that needs to be improved upon or cease to exist.
Things are as they are, and nothing needs to change or happen.
Reality always unfolds naturally in the present moment, without any need for striving or expectations.
By tuning into the current state of Being, and making contact with the sensory experiences, flow will happen from a space where decisions are based on a present need for rest, nourishment, exercise, and meditation. If any perceived obstruction is happening, the issue does not lie in the unfolding of the moment, but in the identification with an experience.
There is a present awareness for what feels right in the moment, without the pressure of any internal or external expectations or preferences.
Without identification.
Can you simply be present in the moment, without constantly chasing improvement, or seeking external validation?
Can you fully embrace and accept yourself as you are, without the need for constant self-improvement, and the delusory identification of who you are or could become?
Can you create space for any perceived obstruction, and just be with any activated identification?
I wish you well.